Kohenet Rae Abileah talks with Intact America about rethinking the ritual of Jewish circumcision for the world we live in now.
Q: What is your interest in circumcision as it relates to Jewish tradition?
A: I’ve been interested in the circumcision ritual in Jewish spiritual practice for many years, particularly since becoming ordained as a Jewish clergyperson. As a Kohenet or Hebrew Priestess, I’m part of a movement that is centering an earth-based, feminist approach to Jewish ritual, seeking to look to the past to understand the roles of Jewish women leaders in ancient times—stories that may have been forgotten or overwritten by patriarchal narratives.
As we rediscover these stories, we are also crafting rituals and adapting our traditions to the world we live in now. Revisiting circumcision is just one aspect of rethinking our ritual practices and seasonal holiday observances. We can look at any particular practice—whether circumcision, coming-of-age rituals (b’nai mitzvah), weddings, funerals, weekly practices like Shabbat, or ongoing observances like keeping Kosher—and ask: how do we transform this ritual, that may include painful or unacceptable practices held-over from the past, into one that is kind, life-affirming, and resonant in this moment?
Q: What is the origin of the Jewish circumcision ritual?
A: The Hebrew word bris or brit is generally translated as circumcision, but it actually means covenant or an agreement. In a brit milah ceremony, typically held on the eighth day of a baby’s life, the foreskin of a baby born with a penis is cut off by a mohel, in a ceremony guided by a rabbi. This is commonly viewed as the traditional way to sanctify the original covenant between God and Abraham and the Jewish people, which is thousands of years old.
But if we understand this bris, this covenant, as a way to honor the beautiful miracle of new life being born, then all kinds of new ritual possibilities open up. We can ask: How can we celebrate the gratitude we feel for this new life and witness the covenant this family is making to raise this child in a way that doesn’t cause harm? And, what aspects of this particular family’s ancestry and culture, and current community, might we wish to uplift as we celebrate this new life?
Q: So there are alternatives out there for parents who want to recognize this ancient covenant with God but don’t want to have their baby circumcised. What can they do instead?
A: Yes, there are alternatives, and a growing number of people are choosing them. Instead of brit milah, or covenant of circumcision, many Jewish faith leaders offer to perform a brit shalom, or covenant of peace. (This term was possibly first introduced by Rabbi Natan Segal in the early 1980s.) This is a beautiful ritual for Jewish families who want to welcome their new baby into the rich culture of Judaism—into the tradition of our ancestors, our people—without inflicting harm.
Q: What does a brit shalom ceremony look like?
A: Family and friends gather at home, in a synagogue, or out in nature. A table may hold candles, challah, and wine or grape juice, which may be viewed as representing the elements of fire, earth, and water. A spiritual leader, such as a rabbi or kohenet, welcomes everyone and blesses and sanctifies the moment with resonant song and prayer (such as the Shehechiatnu, a prayer celebrating the unique joy of this moment and praising the Divine Presence).
The family might light a candle at the opening, invoking prayers of warmth and healing for those in need. The baby might be wrapped in a special prayer shawl or tallit. There might be an opening and closing song with a melody that is traditional to the family and their lineage. One song that we sing—Olam chesed yibaneh, which means, “We will build the world with love”—pretty much sums up the intention of this ritual.
Honored guests may be invited to read poems or texts on the values they wish for this new child to be raised with, such as wholeness, kindness, joy, equality, justice, faith, and trust.
And like a brit milah, the brit shalom ceremony invites parents to bestow upon their baby a Hebrew name, which might be inspired by an ancestor (as is the custom in Ashkenazi Jewish tradition), a living relative (as is the custom in Sephardic tradition), a character in the Bible, or perhaps a name that recognizes an attribute the parent(s) hope for their child.
Q: What other aspects make this ritual special?
A: In their wonderful book, Celebrating Brit Shalom, Lisa Braver Moss, and Rebecca Wald suggest that this ritual includes the slicing open of a pomegranate. The pomegranate is a very symbolic fruit in Judaism. There are 613 seeds in a pomegranate, one for each good deed one can do. To cut open a pomegranate is to open up to the possibilities of all that this little one might do in their lifetime to make the world a more beautiful and just place.
The cutting might also symbolize this transitional moment—that with the coming of this new life, life for the parent(s) will never be the same, and there is no turning back, similar to how we have a custom of breaking a glass at the end of a Jewish wedding or cracking open a geode in other rituals.
Alternatively, participants might wash the baby’s feet, braid cords of ribbons together, or light a candle and share hopes for the baby’s future.
The brit shalom is beautiful in another important way: It gets us out of the gender binary, offering one way to honor the birth of all children equally, irrespective of assigned sex at birth.
And just like our other Jewish rituals, we complete the baby ceremony by breaking bread together—typically first blessing wine or grape juice, then blessing a loaf of challah. Eating after a ritual helps us ground and nourish our bodies and celebrate this happy occasion.
Q: How does this fit into Jewish spiritual practice in a wider sense?
A: In Judaism, as in so many faith traditions, we value the sacredness of life. In pursuing social justice, we aim to follow the lead of the most impacted. This principle is more challenging when it comes to infant circumcision because, of course, we can’t communicate in words with babies. We can’t survey 400 babies after circumcision to see how they feel about it. But their cries while being circumcised speak volumes.
As we know, unlike many other mammals, human babies cannot walk at birth and are highly dependent on adults for survival. The foreskin protects a part of the body that is incredibly vulnerable and sensitive. Why invoke harm if we can prevent it? It is very possible that this initial pain causes a trauma that ripples for years—or even generations. Why risk that?
Circumcision is viewed by some as a demarcation of the “chosen people,” implying that Jewish people are better or separate from others—an outdated idea that, in and of itself, can create harm. There is no contest for an all-loving God’s love for all sentient beings. We say, b’tselem elohim, we are all created in the Divine’s image.
In her book Wounds into Wisdom: Healing Intergenerational Jewish Trauma, Rabbi Dr. Tirzah Firestone quotes one of her interviewees, Reuven, who says, “Not everyone understands the spirituality of Judaism. That to be chosen is not to be superior. Not to be arrogant. On the contrary, it is to be humble and responsible for others. I say [it means] to take our own history and convert it into kindness.”
Brit Shalom is one way we can honor our history and ensure kindness as we celebrate life.
Q: What can people do?
A: Hold space for new parents-to-be to grapple with their families’ traditions and the pressures they may feel to continue them. Ask questions about what’s at the essence of that tradition that they wish for their children—maybe it’s safety, a feeling of belonging (to an ancestral line, or simply in the locker room), a sense of continuity given the mass extermination of so many of our ancestors, or a specialness. Offer empathy, care, and validation. Get creative together on how these hopes might be met in other ways. Sharing stories of alternatives can be illuminating for many who never considered that there was any other way.
Educational efforts within spiritual communities, denominations, and congregations are key to raising awareness. Supporting “intactivism” (the term given to the growing movement to move away from circumcision) is fundamentally about championing the right to bodily integrity and promoting informed choices that respect individual autonomy.
From generation to generation, l’dor v dor, it is incumbent that we reimagine our traditions for the world we live in now. May we welcome new life not with harm, but with celebration, sanctification, and life-affirming ritual. For more information, visit www.celebratingbritshalom.com.
If you are seeking a Jewish spiritual leader to officiate a brit shalom for your child, visit the Bruchim network directory.
By actively engaging in educational efforts, legislative advocacy, community outreach, and personal conversations, we can each play a vital role in shaping public perceptions and influencing policy regarding circumcision.
Each conversation you have, each event you attend, and every contribution you make adds to the momentum of this critical cause. Your involvement contributes to a broader movement dedicated to safeguarding bodily autonomy for the next generation. Join forces with organizations like Intact America and become a beacon of change, advocating for a world where personal rights and health ethics converge in support of protecting our most vulnerable.
Your voice matters—let it echo in the corridors of power and create change.
No Comments